Mistakes
by SirenJunkie
Summary: On the hardest days, there's only one person you can talk to who understands. Your partner. B/F.


**Author's Note**: Hey all, I've been holding on to this fic for a while, knowing I should be finishing Tough Love, not starting a new story… But I had to get it out there. Let me know what you think so far, I have another chapter's worth that just needs some cleaning up. I promise you Tough Love will be concluded soon!

**Mistakes**

**Chapter One**: An Impossible Day

**Disclaimer**: I do not own anything associated with Third Watch. This fanfiction is intended for entertainment purposes only.

I slammed my apartment door, and fell back against it with a heavy sigh. On days like today it almost made me consider not going into work again tomorrow, but inevitably I would be back there in 5-5 David with my partner as usual. The reality is that the job is really all that I have. Some life, huh? My mind briefly considered the possibly that I would end up alone, old and bitter like Sullivan. I chose not to dwell on it. I walked through the darkened living room, into my bedroom. I tossed my workbag into the space next to my dresser, and quickly slipped out of my street clothes. I decided on my NYPD sweats and a white t-shirt and quickly pulled them on. I wandered into the kitchen next, and pulled open the refrigerator.

I grimaced at the slight stale smell that wafted out, probably from that Japanese take-out that had been on the top shelf for about a week. Not feeling particularly hungry for week-old Japanese food or last night's left over pizza, I grabbed a bottle of Miller and half closed the door. I reopened it and grabbed a second bottle before slamming the door shut. On cue there was a knock at the apartment door, and I almost allowed myself to grin.

I didn't have to look out the peephole, I knew it would be her, the only person who would be calling on my apartment at midnight. I pulled open the door with my one empty hand, and there she was, in her leather jacket, cheeks and nose red from the cold night outside.

"Hi" I said simply, taking her jacket from her as she slipped it off.

"Hey." I handed her the second beer in exchange for her jacket and motioned towards the living room. I hung her jacket up on a hook, and turned around to see her already comfortable on the couch, the top off her beer.

I sat at the opposite end of the couch, back up against the armrest, feet propped up in the middle. This is how we always sat, facing each other, our knees just brushing. I'd been intimate with so many women, but it was never like the kind of intimacy I shared with Faith. After the worst days, the soul-shattering days, the all-out-shit-show days, we'd sit here barely touching, sometimes chatting about Yankees scores, sometimes about work gossip, and sometimes nothing at all, just drinking. I'd never brought another girl to my apartment, but with Faith it was different. We needed this time together, because no one else could understand what we went through in that car every day.

Tonight, she surprised me though, sliding down a little bit so her feet were in between mine, our legs more entwined rather than simply touching. I could tell it was going to be one of those nights when we weren't going to chatter. Her eyes were red, and shiny with unshed tears. I just sat silently, enjoying the contact and comradeship, waiting to see if she was going to talk.

I studied her carefully; she tilted the bottle back, and took a long swallow. She closed her eyes and let her head fall back, and my heart ached to see a tear on her cheek. She made such a tragic, pretty picture, blonde hair rumpled, green eyes with an extra glisten. Briefly I wondered what it would be like to kiss her. I quickly pushed the thought from my head. _She's married, you jag-off_. Still I thought about it more often than I should.

All of a sudden, I was shocked to find her in my arms, face pressed up against my white t-shirt, quickly soaking it with hot tears as she sobbed. _This_ was certainly a new development. I was momentarily overwhelmed by awkwardness until I realized I should hug her. I gently wrapped my arms around her, giving her a squeeze. I could barely breathe, and I was surprised how fragile she seemed in my strong arms.

"Shhhh. It's okay. I've got you. I'm here." I softly murmured. I rubbed my hand up and down her back to try and stop her from shaking. I could smell her hair, like those little purple flowers and that ever present Faith smell.

She lifted her splotchy red face up, inches away from my own. "What have I done?" She demanded. She wiped at her eyes furiously, "I'm an awful person, Bos."

"What are you talking about, Faith? Cesar was a jag-off. One that deserved to die. I'm glad you did what you did. I'd say even I'm proud of you."

A strange look came to her eyes, one I'd never seen before. "You are?"

"Every day we work together, Yokas." I had never meant something more in my life, and I gave her another quick hug to reassure her.

She gently laid her head back onto my chest, attempting to contain her sniffling. I was trying to lie to myself, and trying not to think about how much I was enjoying having her there. I stroked her soft hair, and continued to whisper comfort to her.

As the sniffling died down, she lifted her head again, and studied me intently with those intensely green eyes. I was all of a sudden very aware that she was little more than two inches away from my face. There was a kind of electricity in the air, you could almost hear a crackle. Finally, some unknown force brought her lips crashing down onto mine.

Those first two seconds of the kiss were probably the noisiest two seconds my brain had ever experienced. I had a million thoughts all at once, screaming through my brain; _You're kissing Faith! But she's married! She's your PARTNER! Oh my god, am I kissing her back? Did she just kiss me, or did I kiss her? _

Quickly my thoughts were swept away by the intensity and desperate need of that kiss. A tidal wave of raw emotion and desire swept over me, and I pulled her tighter to me, deepening the kiss. It was so much more than I'd ever imagined, all those times I'd considered what it would have been like if she wasn't married. My chest was tight, my heart was pounding, and I almost didn't remember to breathe.

She withdrew her lips, and trailed light kisses down my cheek, across my jawbone and down my neck. I moaned slightly and she kissed my collarbone and snuck a hand under the hem of my t-shirt. I responded in kind by gently grasping the hem of her shirt and in a swift motion pulling it over her head. I was amazed by how it felt to run my hands up her bare skin, captivated by the silky softness. I couldn't believe the hard-as-nails cop I saw every day on the street could feel so soft. Even her touch was light, soft, sensual. I was breathing so heavily, I could feel my head practically spinning. I hardly noticed she had taken my t-shirt off until I felt the touch of her skin against my bare chest, and it nearly drove me out of my mind. I had never needed a woman so badly, never experienced such overpowering hunger for someone.

I gently rolled her over onto her back, and she continued to eagerly paw at my remaining clothing. I responded with the same enthusiasm, eager to see all of her. Her breathing quickened and she gasped as I caressed as much of her as possible. I needed her now, and all I could hear was our synchronized, frantic breathing. Overwhelmed by the passion, I lowered myself over her body, and knew what it felt like to be utterly undone.

* * *

I couldn't remember exactly when we'd made it into my bedroom, but we both lay in my bed now, and I could hear her soft yet deep breathing. I propped myself up on my elbow, studying my sleeping partner. She lay on her stomach, head on her arm, with a ghost of a smile on her face. The sheet had slipped down, and the soft, creamy skin of her back was lit by the streetlight coming through the window. It made me want to kiss her all over again, putting kisses all the way down her spine, making her tingle with pleasure. I couldn't bring myself to wake her up, she looked too peaceful in her sleep. Such a contrast to when she was on the job and busting heads on the streets. It was just after 6am, it would be getting light out soon, and I knew she'd have to leave soon if she was going to convince Fred she'd been working a double tonight.

I was startled to realize I didn't want her to go back to Fred, I wanted her to stay here with me. When I thought about her leaving, I had a weird aching, tearing feeling in my chest. Knowing I had no other choice, I sighed and scooted closer to her and gently placed a soft kiss on her temple. "Wake-up, Faith." I murmured quietly.

She rolled over, smiling, "Mmm..Bosco." She opened her eyes. She looked at me, then out the window, and panic filled her eyes. "Bosco!? Oh my god, what time is it?" She sat up frantically pulling the sheet around her.

"Relax. It's just after 6." I replied, frowning as she got up, searching for her clothes. I passed her a t-shirt nearby. She slipped it over her head and continued her frantic search. "Come on, come back to bed for a little bit."

"I didn't call him last night, Bosco. He doesn't even know where I am. He's likely pissed." She turned to face me. "Where are my clothes?"

I laughed. "Not in here. Try the living room, next to the couch." She hurried into the living room and returned a few minutes later with her stuff. "Sit down for a minute, Faith. Please. I want to talk to you."

She sat on the edge of the bed, not looking at me, trying to wiggle into her jeans. "The Bosco I know doesn't want to talk with women. He just sleeps with them and sends them on their way." She kept her eyes down, but I could feel the edge in her voice. I felt like she had punched me in the stomach.

I put a hand on her shoulder, "Faith, it's not like that. Not with you. Don't be like this. You have to know you're different." I allowed my voice to fill with pleading and she finally looked at me, her eyes snapping with fury.

"This was a stupid mistake, Bosco." She dropped her gaze and began pulling on her socks. Fully dressed now, she stood, ready to leave. My throat tightened. No way after what we had been through last night could she believe that. I had to try, I'm not the type of guy to give up on what I really want. I wasn't even sure want was the question here. In a rush I knew that not only did I want her, I needed her.

"It's different with you Faith…. Damn it, I think I'm falling in love with you." She froze in my doorway and whirled around to face me once again. I swallowed, scarcely believing what I had just said, but figured I might as well get it all out now. "Or maybe I've been in love with you for a long time."

"Who the hell are you!? My partner doesn't fall in love with people. Especially not married people. I can't believe you'd do this to our friendship, Bosco." I winced at her screaming and her harsh words. I didn't have a reply for her, so I simply looked down at my shaking hands, trying to collect myself. "I can't do this to my kids. No matter what I might feel," I could hear the pain laced in her voice.

I looked up hopefully, grabbing onto the sadness into her tone. "What do you feel, Faith?" I got out of bed carefully, walking over to the bedroom doorframe, leaning opposite to her. I took her hand in mine, giving it a squeeze.

"It doesn't even matter!" She violently pulled her hand from my grasp. "We're not going to talk about this ever again." I watched her back as she turned, stomped through the living room, quickly grabbing her jacket. I could feel anger bubbling up in me, an unstoppable response to the hurt she'd caused me. Something inside me snapped.

"It figures, the one FUCKING time I put my heart out there, you can't handle it. To hell with you, Faith." I crossed my arms as I saw her pause briefly, hand hovering above the doorknob.

She turned around and gave me one last look. "There. That's the Bosco I can handle. See you at work." Her words were so icy, and her green eyes were sparking with fury. I shuddered as she turned and let the door slam shut behind her. I slowly slid down the wall, bringing my forehead to rest on my knees. The pain in my chest was back, slicing and burning with intensity. I wrapped my arms around myself, trying to stop myself from falling apart.

Little did I know, on the other side of my apartment door, another person was on the ground, and like me, was silently fighting the tears stinging her eyes.

_To be continued…_


End file.
